its been a week of extreme emotions.

yes, i admit that im damn damn happy this week. especially friday night. as much as i promise myself that i should be good and not go out with them anymore, i just went ahead and had fun with them. because i noe, deep down, i can never resist moments with them. i had great fun playing with the jump jump thing. whatever that's called and i got to see the childish side of the guys that i haven gotten any chance to. even supper was great because the dim sum is really good. *thumb up*

but you know what. that's just gotta make things more difficult if i ever want to disaapear or stay away. mayb i shouldnt even be that close in the first place.

i am so sick of making excuses for myself.
i am so sick of screwing up my life. and yes, again, lieujingying is thinking how screwed up she is now.

HOW THE FUCK DID I GET SO SCREWED AND BLUR. i'll tell u what. I FREAKING FORGOT MY WALLET AGAIN left it in my fren's car. yes, it always ended with a laugh, and me brushing aside the seriousness of the issue. BUT deep down, I AM SERIOUSLY ANGRY AT MYSELF. its not just angry, the word furious is not even enough to cover how angry i felt with myself.

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. how the hell would i be able to survive in taiwan and china. ITS NOT A FREAKING JOKE...............