HELLO EARTHLINGS!
I AM A HAPPY GIRL TODAY.
LIEU JING YING IS BACK! hahhaaa!

sorrry people, for being such a blackie for the past two months. SORRY LAH! i was really really burnt out. you know how things are when you dont have enough time on hand to do whatever makes you happy?! SO FOR CLARIFICATION PURPOSES, I AM NOT BEING PMS OR BEING DAO. its just my face lah. i noe i look fierce when i dun smile or when im very sian! NOT MY FAULT OKAY! lol.

anyway, somehow i feel that i owe you guys some explainations AS to why i was being like this for the last two months. the truth is, i was really really tired when school reopened. with all the work and tuitions i had almost everynight during the holiday, i was really torn down by all the happenings around me. tuitions and work and meetings became an obligation, and i pushed myself harder and harder everyday. i tot, life would be perfect if i play hard, and work hard. but apparently, it doesnt work this way, as i found out to my cost. being busy and tired compromise the quality of my work, and i was so tired that i cried so often on buses.

so when school reopened in september, i wasnt ready for sch at all. the strain and tireness is still lingering in my body and mind. that's why i slacked so much when sch reopen. i told myself that i should let down my hair and really have fun. i played harder than ever, getting crazier and crazier, drinking more than ever and spending more and more. but at the same time, im still juggling with tuitions. frequency of tuition became higher cos i took up a second student. the offer was too good to be missed. so yet again, i played hard, and earned hard again. the dumb cycle just continue like this. i came home, feeling stress and DRAINED to energy level zero for the past two months. you had no idea how it feels to have energy level zero. it was hell. i just lie on the sofa in my room and stone. like a living zombie, with no soul at all. yes, it was that bad. and the worse thing was, i wanted so much to stop all those commitment, but i couldnt. BECAUSE IT IS A COMMITMENT, smtth you have to do till the end. i mean, i cant be irresponsible and leave my tuition kids to die when they themselves are struggling with their exam too. i cant possibly do that. i just cant.

and then spiritually, i had to battle with my own logics and egos to protect my broken heart every single day. yes, every single day. lol. i wont elaborate on what happen cos i noe most people who know me know what happen alr. i think this is more straining on me than the amt of work and tuition had on me.

but now, im done with my tuition forever! saying goodbye to my teacher life. its a HUGE burden off the shoulder. i felt like i can be happy again! its the recess week.
and when you are chilled, and relaxed, and well rested, you feel better spiritually too. ive straightened out my thoughts!

one full day if saturday totally healed my day. i'll tell you what i did on saturday.

i woke up at 8am, feeling happy, promising myself that i wont do anything except to rest for the day. i picked up a book, and headed downstairs and read by the swimming pool. after an hour or so, i went back home and start watching some videos online. closed the curtain, made the room as dark as possible, and watched the video. wanting msged me and ask me to go for a simple lunch. so i joined them for lunch at 1 plus. after lunch, i went kbox with my sec sch gang. been ages since i last saw them, and i miss their company very much. i didnt sing, and i just sat at a corner listening to the songs. i wasnt emo-ing, i just wanted some quiet time, to rest. its really good to be alone in a crowd sometimes.
i felt damn good after the kbox and chillout session with them that day.

aand then that night, drove out for supper, and made last min plans to go ECP and changi to watch meteor rain or smth with uni peeps. yet again, a peaceful night in front of the sea. it was a crazy drive out. i was scare lah! and distracted. hahah. but i had fun. and was really relaxed and happy.

(:

reached hm at 4am. and woke up at 10am for chalet.
will talk abt chalet some other time.

for now, im happy and recharged, ready to work hard. and live a happy life.
and you, will always remain quietly in one corner of my life. i wont try to erase you away again.

so yupp, no more blackie jy. i promise. cos i am happy again.