today. i went nuh.
with my mum for her operation.

laika went with me. i was kinda lost when she told me she couldnt come pei me today. but thank god, she changed her schedule of the day. thank you! (:
her presence made me feel that i should stay strong.

in the waiting area, my dad and my mum started asking me questions which i refuse to think about. so i didnt answer them.

my daddy become blur already. :( he wasnt like that one lorrr.
my mum was pale and nervous today.

reality hit me hard today. but i refuse to face the reality and face it bravely. i choose to return to hall and focus on my exam instead of relieving the load off my daddy's shoulder. okay lahh i did try, by a lil bit. i offered to accompany my mum to get her report next week. but that doesnt mean im ready to face all those stuff that im suppose to.

i told you. i refuse to. because i dun think i am able to cope with this reality. but so far im good.



and i would like to emphasize. dont ask me whether im okay or not because i will be okay if you dont ask me whether im okay or not.

went back to hall at 11 plus pm and lied to my parents that my fren gonna drive me back. didnt want my dad to drive me to school since he has been driving the whole day. cos my bro came home from japan today. yea. he went backpacking for one whole week. and he will be off to army the following week. and before he is enlisted, he gonna go see some specialist cos of some weird issue also lah.
so you can probably imagine the burden my dad had on himself.
1) his beloved wife's future is unknown.
2) his son is stuck with some mental emo-ness. and gonna be enlisted in a few days time.
3) his eldest daugther choose to run away to some pulau ntu hall 13, instead of sharing some of his burdens.

on the 2nd thought, mayb i should stay at home for the next few days. because my mum can be really childish when she is by herself. :x

reality hit me hard today, but i know today's reality wasnt the full impact.